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Promise, I’m Coming Back Now
This is the English translation of “Pangako, Babalik Na Ako”
I once thought
that loving you was my misfortune.
You were the one who made my heart race,
Who made my chest pound,
And made my body tremble.
But you were never popular,
Lacking in fame,
Unable to make the crowds dance,
And never the favorite of everyone.
Back then, I was pretending.
What I wanted was what they wanted.
And I was afraid of being different,
So I forgot you.
Back then, I was betraying myself.
I neglected you and abandoned you,
And forced myself to choose another—
The one admired and celebrated,
The one I thought
Could easily carry me
To the summit of success.
Back then, I was lying.
I hid you and felt ashamed of you,
Because I believed
I would gain nothing
If I chose you.
Yet you remained faithful.
You remained my refuge
Whenever I needed a friend,
And you became the way
To soothe my weary soul.
Meanwhile,
What I chose instead
Begun to bare its fangs,
Started to bite
And spread its poison,
For in it, only weakness
Rose to the surface,
And no matter how much skill existed,
There was always something lacking.
And still,
You remained steadfast.
You kept showing yourself
Even when you were forsaken.
And in every corner I wandered,
You alone were the fountain of excellence.
You can be teasing too,
With your quiet laughter,
Subtly mocking
The beliefs I held
That were slowly crumbling apart.
Because unlike me,
Your happiness
Does not depend on others.
And unlike me,
You do not ask for the opinions of others
To complete who you are.
You create
Your own happiness.
You make
Your own meaning.
You are happy even when unnoticed.
Joyful even without attention.
And the truth is,
It is we
Who beg for your time.
For your words
Sketch a new society.
Your sentences
Build meaning.
Your paragraphs
Create definition.
And your language
Reveals true happiness.
I surrender now.
I surrender to what I truly feel.
I no longer want
To pretend.
The truth is,
You are the one I truly love.
In you,
I find my meaning.
You write
My dreams,
And reveal my purpose
In this world.
From this day on,
I will finally embrace you—
You who have helped me countless times,
You whom I rejected again and again,
Yet always returned to me.
From this day on,
I will return to you
To reclaim my meaning,
The meaning so often trampled
By a cunning world
And dragged along by its frantic turning.
From this day on,
I will finally accept
That you and I are one.
That your weakness
Is my weakness,
But your strength
Is my strength as well.
Now,
I am ready to speak.
I am ready to acknowledge you.
So forgive me for taking so long.
But I promise—
I’m coming back now.
And I only hope
It is not yet too late,
And that you may still
Accept me once again.